As a mother, I second guess myself every day.
It comes with the territory.
Usually, when I come to a controversial topic such as sexual harassment, I typically back off here on my blog. You know, I like to keep it light. But with the latest buzz around Hollywood and Washington, I cannot stop asking myself again and again.
Have I failed my daughters?
By teaching them to be polite but not equally focusing on being assertive.
Let’s face it, becoming a well-mannered lady once was a fabulous endeavor. But knowing the Emily Post Etiquette book like the back of their hands won’t prepare nor protect my daughters from a perverted politician, CEO, or other nasty character.
Please do not misunderstand me.
I’m not advocating for rude.
Being polite is grand, but not if it means sacrificing your sense of self-worth.
Not if it translates into second-guessing yourself when someone gropes you for the sake of being proper about the matter.
No, I need my daughters to know that having good manners means the consideration of others based on mutual respect. The moment that regard is breached, by say, an unsuitable touch, an old-fashioned knee to the groin is the ladylike thing to do.
I want my daughters to know how to express themselves more then I want them to say “ma’am” and “sir”.
Now more than ever they need to know how to say no.
And stand up for what they believe in.
afraid terrified that I’ve raised my girls to be sweet before savvy.
I’d like to apologize for that.
And write them a message for future reference.
I know there are days when you feel like you don’t measure up; sometimes behind your smile and confident appearance there’s a girl who questions every decision and second guesses every move.
I know you evaluate yourself by imperfections and mistakes instead of successes. You try to please everyone before yourself because that’s what you think good girls do.
You spend a lot of your time doubting your decisions because you are looking at your life through someone else’s eyes.
Worrying about what other people will think about what you say or do.
How you look.
What you wear.
What you have or what you don’t.
The truth is, the people worth your time are too busy thinking about their lives to worry with yours.
And the ones that aren’t?
Well, they don’t matter at all.
It took me years to learn these lessons, so please don’t waste any more time.
But don’t take my word for it.
18 Powerful Quotes From Fearless Women for Teenage Girls
1. The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.
– Mohadesa Najumi
2. Always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. -Judy Garland
3. Confidence is not “they will like me.” Confidence is “I’ll be fine if they don’t.” -Christina Grimmie
4. I just love bossy women. I could be around them all day. To me, bossy is not a pejorative term at all. It means somebody’s passionate and engaged and ambitious and doesn’t mind learning. –Amy Poehler
5. If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not making decisions. – Catherine Cook
6. The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who’s going to stop me. – Ayn Rand
7. Done is better than perfect. -Sheryl Sandberg
8. “Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you who you are.”-Beyoncé
9. Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. – Eleanor Roosevelt
10. I know for sure that what we dwell on is what we become. – Oprah Winfrey
11. Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be. – Elizabeth Gilbert
12. There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women. -Madeleline Albright
13. Surround yourself with people smarter than you.
– Maggie Wilderotter
14. It’s not your job to like me; it’s mine. – Byron Katie
15. The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud. – Coco Chanel
16. If you don’t like being a doormat, then get off the floor. -Al Anon
17. The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any. -Alice Walker
18. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. -Maya Angelou