I need to start by saying that there are no perfect parents. We know the perfect mother doesn’t exist.
I’m far from perfect.
And I’m not a parenting expert-I’m just a mom of three with a lot of experience and a very important message for you today.
Ok, now that I’ve gotten that off of my chest I need to tell you that my world was rocked at Target last week.
Not like I had hoped it’d be, by discovering a massive sale on home goods or finding a wad of cash on the snack aisle.
But by a terrible mother & her gaggle of witches, I mean friends.
Look, I usually don’t go all Judge Judy up in here, but I’m about to.
Because I have never heard a mother belittle a child the way I did, and I hope I never have to again.
I’m telling you, according to her everything the kid did was wrong.
He wasn’t being still!
Well, lady, it was right after school, and he looked to be about five years old. Exactly what did you expect after he has been sitting in a classroom all day long?
He continued to ask for food after she told him no!
She seemed perplexed by this, but I guess the child may have been, um, I don’t know, starving? Kids usually are at 3:15.
Here’s where it gets really bad.
As if she were on the five o’clock news, she began broadcasting to all of the shoppers how the boy is a menace to kindergarten.
Yes, I said kindergarten.
Consistently visiting the principal’s office for talking too much in class, getting low test scores, making trouble for others at recess, etc. right there in front of the child!
Her crew of three joined in by dogging the poor kid out right there next to the sports bras.
He just stood there with a pitiful look on his face.
At one point he asked his mother if she wanted to know the good things he did that day, but she was too busy cackling with the others to pay attention to him.
Of course, I wanted to go and hug him and tell him that I’d love to know, but I wanted to come home alive more than I wanted to get involved.
I was so rattled by what I heard that I did some digging and I found this statistic.
For every one negative thing, you point out in your child-any correction you give them -you need to back it up with ten positive statements.
A ten to one ratio.
Now, I don’t know what goes on over at your house, but over here at mine things are not perfect.
My kids hear a lot of things they shouldn’t and way less of what they need to!
Now I’ve never gone off Target Style on any of my kids, but I’ll admit that I do not follow a Clean Your Filthy Room request with a positive affirmation. And that’s what the experts suggest you do.
So here’s how I’m clearing my conscious about what happened over at Target.
I’ve made a list of 36 Positive Things to Say to Your Kids Every Day.
Remember the 10:1 ratio applies to all parents!
All kids need to hear more of these positive things from parents!
I hope this helps you in some small way.
You are important
I know you did your best
I’m proud of you
I love your point of view
I’m here for you
I like to hear your ideas
It’s OK to make mistakes
I believe in you!
You did it
I believe you
I trust you
You can never disappoint me
You are a remarkable person
I love spending time with you
You are a considerate person
You have a kind heart
You should try that
I love the way you did that
You are perfect the way you are
You’re great at that
You are brave
Don’t be scared
Your opinion matters
I love how you tried
You’re a great sister
You’re a great brother
I’m grateful for you
I love you