IEP Meetings can be painful and stressful. I know because I have been preparing for my son’s for the past three hours and I can’t think straight. So, I’ve decided to take a quick break and write down a list of the top 25 Things I Would Rather Do Than Go To An IEP Meeting.
Like, I’d rather change my name to MC HB aka Tenacious Cakes and tour the country spitting mad rhymes about the dangers of Easy Bake Ovens than go through another IEP.
Which is to say I do not want to continue preparing for my son’s meeting scheduled for tomorrow.
See, if you want to make the most of the conference from hell, you have to prepare.
There is a lot of legal jargon you must get through to understand your child’s rights.
Then there are the acronyms…
So. Many. Acronyms.
IDEA, ADA, FAPE, SP, OT, SLP, SPED, ABA…
OMG!
Honestly, you need a degree, or at least a lot of time to get to know these bad boys.
ALL PARENTS WITH SPECIAL NEEDS KIDS HAVE TONS OF FREE TIME
Yeah right.
It’s maddening.
And just when you think you can’t possibly take anymore…it’s time for the meeting!
Everyone there is stressed…SPED officials have deadlines, and they are under incredible amounts of pressure, and it’s part of their job to tell you what your kid cannot do.
SO. MUCH. FUN.
I have been a total stress case over this IEP for over a month now.
Today I needed a break.
So, I put together this list of all of the things I’d rather do than read case law, study acronyms, and, finally, attend the meeting.
25 Things I’d Rather Do Than Go To Another IEP Meeting
1. Read the explicit lyrics to “Get Low” by Lil Jon to a group of Senior Citizens
2. Explain all of my Amazon purchases to my husband...in person
3. Run down the beach next to Giselle Bundchen in matching bikinis on live television
4. Get my Lady Business waxed into the shape of a question mark
5. Roller skate through Walmart asking strangers if they are “The Gatekeeper.”
6. Get stuck in an elevator with Jay Z and Solange Knowles
7. Bathe a feral cat
8. Hang out in the airport smokers lounge while suffering from a stomach virus
9. Eat sushi from the sketchy Ethnic restaurant in the Atlanta Airport
10. Sing the Star Spangled Banner at the Super Bowl making sure to raise my finger to point when I “hit the high notes” (I can’t sing)
11. Argue with an overly enthusiastic mother who feels powerful because somebody gave her a clipboard
12. Cover my body with spray adhesive, roll in glitter & offer myself up to the Mississippi mosquitos in July
13. Post a photo of myself with my tongue out on Facebook
14. Drink a tall glass of curdled milk after ingesting whatever is in that Tupperware container in the back of my refrigerator
15. Touch everything at the Pediatrician’s office-toys, doorknobs, magazines-without washing my hands or using Germ-Ex after
16. Wear a Leisure Suit to all of my daughter’s ballgames without offering anyone an explanation
17. Clean the port-o-potties after a Phish concert without gloves
18. Balance my checkbook
19. Star in a Urinary Incontinence Commercial
20. Trade in Wifi for Dial Up
21. Go Live on Facebook from my bathroom during a colon cleanse
22. Parallel Park
23. Wear crocs
24. Watch a marathon of Sarah McLachlan SPCA Dog commercials with my sensitive nine year old daughter
25. Go back to high school
Do not get me wrong.
I would walk through fire for my son.
That would be easier, actually, because at least then I would know the outcome.
See, there’s something about going into the IEP Meeting. You may be scared or intimidated, but you know exactly what your child needs.
You go to the meeting thinking you will be considered a part of the IEP Team, but that’s not always how it goes.
DO YOUR HOMEWORK
Yeah, I know you don’t want to hear this, but you’ve got more work to do.
Let me help.
Start by reading posts like this & this.
Then take a glance at the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) right here http://www.smartkidswithld.org/getting-help/know-your-childs-rights/your-childs-rights-6-principles-of-idea/
Many states have a Community Parent Resource Center (CPRC) that offers support and training to parents of children with disabilities. You can find yours here http://www.parentcenterhub.org/find-your-center/
I also found a lot of useful information here http://www.mspti.org/upload/file59_SpecialEducation-WhatDoINeedtoKnow-English.pdf and here http://idea-b.ed.gov/explore/home.html
I know that millions of special needs parents struggle with IEP’s this time of year…April. Which is also Autism Awareness Month.
I want you to be aware that IEP meetings are not supposed to be painful.
I want you to be aware of your child’s rights.
I want you to speak up on behalf of those that do not speak.
Like my son, Nathan.
Strong people stand up for themselves, but stronger people stand up for others.-unknown
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Girl! You are on fire tonight! I completely understand everything you are saying. As a teacher, I try to remember how the parent is feeling on the other side of that table… explains why it’s so hard getting parents to attend…however, I have come to love a croc shoe, especially after I’ve chased “The Flash” all the way to Sonic and back?. ( and then the sweet angel turns around and smiles at me… breathing normally as I reach for the oxygen and the defribullator)
I totally feel your pain…..but I’m on the other side of the fence! I am a special education teacher and I have finished all of my meetings but I still have to fine tune my IEP’s to make sure everything is covered!!! These things take at least a good month to gather all your information then you have the long hard task of sitting down and putting it all together. It’s exhausting!!!
I can’t imagine how you maintain your sanity throughout the process!!! Your job is tough enough!!! Special Education teachers work twice as hard as everyone else!!!
How did the meeting go? I was thinking about you guys today.. Hope it went well… Also, Awesome post once again… I needed the laugh… ☺
THIS MADE ME HOWL. I proper LOLLED.
Bathe a feral cat. I’m gone ere.
You have my sense of humour here! Loved it.
Thanks for sharing with #GlobalBlogging
You would rather explain your Amazon purchases in person… You are one brave Mama 🙂 On a more serious note, I can only imagine the frustration you must feel. Nothing hurts more than knowing our child deserves more and it being denied. Hang in there! Thank you for sharing with us at #globalblogging Heather. This was an eye-opening (albeit funny) read… xx
You are a brave mama… well done! For the list of very inventive options you named, I can feel how you dislike those meetings! #globalblogging
You’re obviously so very strong and determined to get the best for your son, but I hear you *screaming* that it should’t have to be so difficult. From your list, #13 made me giggle…all that glitter!
Popping across from #GlobalBlogging
Brilliantly written it really highlights how tough it is whilst also making us laugh at your list the ? waxing, and I am not sure what I’d rather do bathe a feral cat or face the lady with the clipboard. I hope the meeting went better than expected! Take care.
Wow. Sounds very frustrating. Nice ways to handle it and I love your list #thelistlinky
I hate acronyms! These meetings are stressful enough and we shouldn’t have to spend time and effort working out what the acronyms mean! #FridayFrolics
I know…there should be a weekend course for Special Needs parents just to educate us on the lingo!!!
I know!!! It is like a foreign language! I bet they get at least a semester in college to learn those!!!
I used to head a SEN school and it really helped us plan for the young person. I hope even though you don’t like them that your child is benefiting from them. I’d prefer to have them than to not. #FridayFrolics
You are right! They are absolutely necessary! If they were handled the way they were supposed to be no parent would dread them. They WOULD be a part of the “team”. There would be a real conversation about what is best for the child. Unfortunately, that is not the case for me…and so many others. I would love to hear how you handled your meetings. I am going to try to make changes. I am not the type of person to talk about problems without having possible solutions ready. I’d love to have your help!
I was with you all the way but then you crossed a line and lost me. Crocs! NEVER wear crocs 😉 Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics
Amen!!!
This list was brilliant! I have to admit I think no 6 could actually be quite interesting if a little awkward lol. I hope the meeting goes well!
Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
Debbie
Sounds like a stressful process, but you give good advice. There are too many acronyms everywhere these days – I hate them. And no one ever wants to have to explain their Amazon purchases!
Thanks so much for joining us for #FridayFrolics
Love your list! Haha.
I can imagine that having to deal with all of the meetings and keeping up-to-date with research involved with special needs parenting is extremely time consuming and exhausting!
It’s great that you can keep a sense of humor about it. You rock.
#globalblogging
I feel like I could have written all of this myself. IEP meetings were torture for us. Even though I had researched all of the lingo and reccommendations I couldn’t help but feel as though promises weren’t kept on their end, or that they weren’t really doing what was best for my daughter. I finally had enough of my daughter getting more and more restrictions and punishments for being autistic that I said enough is enough. She is back to homeschooling now and we couldn’t be happier. She can do things at her pace, and on her level (which is higher than grade level on most things but they were putting her in classes with academics several grades lower…um no thanks lol). No more wishing I was bathing a feral cat instead of sitting through a group of people that I couldn’t help but feel were more interested in passing the buck than putting her best interests foremost lol.
You are not the first parent to tell me they chose this option. I am glad your daughter is doing well. That is the most important thing…yet I cannot get over the fact that the law isn’t being upheld!
Great post. Funny but with a powerful message. It is so sad that it is so hard to get the help you need 🙁 #anythinggoes
Is there a follow-up post with the outcome? This list, it is the shit! I mean waxing, feral cats, colon cleanse all in one post! Genius! #globalblogging M’wah!
Girl I do not miss the IEP days. Im there with you in spirit.
Thanks for linking up to #globalblogging
I know what you mean… it is never ending! Good Luck with the meeting and hope that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. Plus – I love your #13. “Post a photo of myself with my tongue out on Facebook”. I dare you!! Do it! Do it! 😉 xx
Thank you so much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost
Your post is full of humour, I admit I have no clue at all what any of those letters stand for, I hope it all went well. Sarah #FabFridayPost
This is where, once again, I am so thankful and grateful to my sons’ schools. The teachers are so dedicated to not just helping my sons but also helping me. I remember my first meeting though for my oldest. His first one was in preschool and it was right after his diagnosis. I was already stressed out and had no knowledge whatsoever about Autism let alone what an IEP was. That first meeting was difficult to say the least. Then a year later I’m doing another one for his elementary school. I had just gotten used to dealing with the preschool teachers when I had to get used to all new teachers and I had no idea what was going to happen. But I met a mom through my son’s classroom. She had an older son with Autism and attended the first IEP with me. Then there were the teachers who were so comforting and assuring. They also made recommendations of resources I could use and organizations I could go to for help. I also made it a point to educate myself on IEP’s and Special Education. Now I help other parents who are in the same boat I was once in. I hope your meeting went okay. I am a little surprised about the part where the IEP team doesn’t really make you feel like you’re a part of the team. I used to feel that way too until the Special Education Liaison pulled me aside before the second meeting and made sure I knew that I had the right to question everything and get a clearer picture before signing anything. After she did that I asked every question, especially about those acronyms, lol! I consider myself lucky though because I hear stories like this all the time where the parents have no idea whats really going on and they are afraid to ask questions because the team makes them feel like they don’t have a right to. I attended a meeting with a single mom who didn’t know she could ask questions. It was eye-opening for her and for me because the Special Education teacher talked down to her and gave us both the impression that we were wasting her time. It’s so sad that this happens. I also understand from the teacher’s perspective though too. Not that particular teacher but the ones I have worked with who are dedicated to the students they teach. I wish you the best of luck going forward with the IEP’s.
Hey! One thing I have learned (so far) is that I can always count on finding another mom with a special needs kid to help me. I am amazed by your story and I think that you are doing a noble deed by helping other moms. That is something I aspire to do. I would really like to know more about you…but not in a stalker kind of way!:) You can e-mail me if you don’t want to share on this thread, but I’d like to know what school district you are in, what kind of services it provides,and more about how you help other parents!
My meeting wasn’t as bad as I anticipated, but nowhere near the experience you had!
I have heard too many horror stories about IEP meetings. My heart goes out to those parents!
Still love this post. It’s absolutely freaking brilliant.. Thanks for sharing with #GlobalBlogging
One of my favourite posts! #globalblogging. Love the quote – Strong people stand up for themselves, but stronger people stand up for others.-unknown..
I am HONORED!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!