“Get in line.”
“Please hold.”
“Take a number.”
“Be patient – your time is coming.”
Fellow mothers, please raise your hand if you have ever wondered… “When do I come first?”
Don’t get me wrong.
Respecting others, and allowing them to take their time is honorable, but not when you feeling exhausted and unappreciated in return.
How many times have you asked yourself, “When the #&*% is it going to be my turn?!”
I know firsthand that managing a career, a household, endless to-do lists, carpools, extracurricular activities, solving the dinner dilemma… holy crap this list is long…
It’s a challenge and damn near impossible to accomplish. I GET IT if your eyes are rolling at the thought of fitting in “me time.”
Many women–myself included–were programmed early on to feel guilt and shame around prioritizing ourselves.
As if sacrificing our wants, needs and, desires will score us sacrifice points on an imaginary mom scoreboard in the sky.
But the truth is, we actually do everyone a disservice (ourselves included!) by adhering to this mindset because… say it with me… you cannot pour from an empty cup!
We tend to misuse and take time for granted. We busy ourselves, rush, and hurry through life like it’s a race to be won and she who is the most stressed wins!
FALSE.
The truth is: your time is your most valuable asset. The cliche “time is money” missed the mark a bit because the way I see it, time is worth much MORE than money.
And how you spend your time is worth more than anything on the stock market.
About a year ago, as I was trying to sort through life during Covid and suffering from a tremendous amount of stress, I had a dream so powerful, I can picture it to this day.
I’m not a dream-journal-on-the-nightstand kinda gal, but when a dream jolts me awake at 4 am and sends chills down my spine, I write it down.
A year later and I still picture it vividly.
Two clocks on the Scales of Justice and the message, “Do you tell time, or does it tell you?”
Full disclosure: I don’t know if it was a subconscious awakening or if my brain was having an Alice in Wonderland moment. However, I know the dream caused me to start sloooowwwiinnggg dooowwnnn.
I eased off of my to-do list from hell and began prioritizing where and with whom I spent my time.
I started saying no to the things and people who didn’t matter so I could say yes to the ones who did… including myself. (Look at that. Full circle.)
I realized I’ve been spinning my wheels and wasting a lot of energy on the wrong things. Eventually, I was able to slow down and–this may seem crazy–but I noticed I was able to get more done in less time without living in a constant stress mode!
If you’re in a similar situation, try one of these on for size:
- I put down my phone and STOPPED checking Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter like it was my job. I STOPPED trying to prove myself to others
- I STARTED praying and prioritizing my kids–not to mention all people > things. I STARTED journaling too. (Maybe I should revisit that dream journal idea…)
We all have the same 24 hours in a day, but how you choose to spend it is what makes the difference between living the life of your dreams or living a nightmare.
The choice is up to you. Do you tell time or does it tell you?
Kudos to you, Heather, for figuring this out. I’ve been empty nesting for years, but I wished I had figured out how to get some me-time when I really needed it. Mothers can’t take care of our families if we don’t take care of ourselves.
Thank you, Karen! It only took me twenty years:))