16 Funny Warning Signs You’re Not Cool Anymore, Mom

You know that thing when you suddenly realize you’re not cool anymore? It can happen to any mom – anywhere – at anytime. Sometimes the not-so-fresh feeling hits when you find yourself getting caught up in the emotion of a Chico’s commercial, other times, you sense it when you’re making a grocery list. You underline ACTIVIA yogurt ten times because your body has become dependent on it to make you poop. Sometimes you just have a feeling that something is off about your personality. 

you're not cool anymore

But what if you’re not sure? 

Are there warning signs that you’re not cool anymore? 

Well, I’m glad you asked because, as it turns out, there are warning signs and something you can do about it.  

I remember the day I started asking myself, when did I stop being cool?

At first, I thought I was having a hot flash; maybe it was my hormones? Or perhaps I was losing my sanity? I mean, I do have three kids who drive me bat crap crazy from time to time. 

But it wasn’t my hormones, weight, or temper. 

It was my awesomeness that had faded away. 

My wicked strut in and own the place because I’ve got it going on vibe that I once had.

Did I trade it in at the hospital when I had my first child?

My second?


What if there had been warning signs that I was losing it?

Like an alarm bell (ding!ding!ding!) or an email alert: 

WARNING! We’ve noticed some lame activity in your life. Please reevaluate your leisure activities and all song choices immediately. Also, stop shopping for clothes at JC Penny.

Here’s the thing, it doesn’t have to be this way. You can get help before it’s too late if you recognize the warning signs. Here are some of the red flags.

16 Warning Signs You’re Not Cool Anymore

You’ve asked your teenager, “Is that what the kids are doing?”

You’ve asked Google, “Is that what the kids are saying?”

You’ve referenced a celebrity as “Oh, you know, that girl with the hair in that movie….” 

You’ve ever called a #hashtag a pound sign.

You’ve started using that filter that makes you look like you just left a Rainbow Brite rave.

You’ve ever called Lil’ Jon Little Jonathan.

you're not cool anymore

You pack snacks before you leave the house.

You’ve ever done the neck roll while asking What the (BLEEP) is wrong with packing snacks?

You’ve ever asked a group of teenagers if they need to go potty.

You adamantly think Kid’s Bop did it better.

Your idea of a cold one is a Capri Sun that’s been in the refrigerator for longer than an hour.

You’ve tried to make sense of teen slang and failed miserably (Ex: This 2 for one coupon is GAS.)

You get WAY TOO excited about going to Target.

You forget why you went to the grocery store…often.

You identify with Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm.

you're not cool anymore

All of your dance moves are from another decade.

If you can identify with one or more of these warning signs, help is available. Stop what you’re doing, phone a friend, pump up the volume on an old-school playlist, take some time for yourself and return to “center” (which is where you will find the cool again – and make no mistake – you can find it, and I can help:)

What To Read Next:

Rebel Keto: The Girl’s Guide To Losing The Weight, Breaking The Rules & Having A Life Outside The Kitchen

Epic Mom Fail: The Day Bonnie Tyler Made Me Lose It

What is Dad Doing Outside? The Discovery of the (Bad) Dad Dimension


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